Ruff Cuts

Ilyon's back from vacation and it's a wild ride, as this week we plunge the dark depths of the American dream and try to get to the bottom of who's scamming who. Boyks fills up his corkboard to try to find the key to money laundering, and a little girl searches for the American Dream - time with family (spelled: M-O-N-E-Y

Today, the boys look at Rottweiler, a Terminator-inspired Breaking Benjamin-ass hardcore exploitation movie. It's ruff alright.

Jim Carrey carries his career out of the way of made-for-TV Ace Ventura 3, leaving it in the capable hands of the voice of Air Buddy Budderball. Get your Hawaiian shirts and pompadours ready to kick some cops, race some heelys, and fart to save the animals. 

He's the maaaaaaaaaaaaaan!

But not a dog - Boyks shares a classic B-movie with co-host Ilyon anyway. So download this to your DAMN TALKING BOX and enjoy

A sensitive, powerful, Christian take on a single-parent home, torn apart by war and the one big jackass that farts his way into their hearts; Kevin Sorbo.

 

Down the most toxic beer you can find, turn on the nitrous in your car, find a dog, and punch a cop in his sunglasses - it's Highway to Hell

Please? Pleeeeeaase? Just a whiff? A little treat? C'mon.

 

Welcome to wholesome Christian family movies, starring Jesus' 13th psychic immortal dog apostle.

Boyks and Ilyon stumble on a pit as dark as the depths of Uranus!! (canned laughter). FamilyEntertainment.tv AKA - WowNow, Doc TV, Pup TV, Dream Machine Animation, Toe Jamz, and Brainy Pants presents a steaming pile of shit generated in an afternoon specifically to trick parents into accidentally buying it.

Please don't give them money and fame and make them TheAsylum 2. Please, please. We're begging.

Hey look it's the second Pup Star movie! Hold on, I'm being handed a note...

OH FUCK, THIS IS THE FOURTH??? THEY MADE FOUR?

It's a classic tale of man meets dog, man kills dog, man cyberizes dog, man hooks up with dog's mom! Welcome to Ruff Cuts